Learning How To Be An Ally

I am deeply horrified, saddened, and overwhelmed with a feeling of helplessness by the racial injustice taking place in America today. I’ve spent these past few days educating myself, trying to stay informed, and looking for ways to take action against this unjust reality.

I am committed to being an ally. I am committed to being actively anti-racist, because simply being “not racist” is not enough. Being an ally to me, means continuing to educate myself, listening to black men and women, signing petitions, donating to charities that advocate for POC, regularly talking to my friends and family about these issues, teaching my future children from a young age how to be an ally, supporting and encouraging brands to show diversity on their platforms, voting, taking the census, calling + writing to representatives, and standing up for injustice when I see it. But that’s just the tip of the iceberg. And as I become more informed and educated on this topic, I will be updating and adding to this post.

No one should be treated differently because of the color of their skin. No one deserves to be living in fear or suppressing themselves in order to not get arrested, profiled, ridiculed, or killed. I will never be able to know or understand what black men and women in America have been through, but I will stand with them. I will speak up, I will take action. None of us have all of the answers, but we must start somewhere.

Learning How To Be An Ally

Have conversations about racial injustice with your family and friends – this video really helped me start

Talk to your kids or commit to talking to your future children about this – here’s a list of some great books

Educate yourself by reading about racial injustice – I just ordered this book

Support and encourage more brands to represent and work with POC

Support black owned businesses – I have a lot of research to do here

Check in on your black friends and let them know that you’re thinking of them and there for them

Request an absentee ballot so you can vote without contact

Vote during the primaries for state and local officials, not just during the presidential election

Take the census – it’s how the government decides how much funding your community will get for schools, hospitals and more

Donate to the NAACP

Donate to the The Loveland Foundation

Donate to George Floyd’s family

Text FLOYD to 55156 to sign the petition

Contact state and local leaders

Take a stand against injustice when you see it

Use your voice and your power to bring awareness to this important issue whether it be on social media, or elsewhere

Continue having these conversations and taking action weeks, months, years from now

The last thing that I will say, is that everyone has a voice. So please use yours in a positive way. Don’t let the fear of misspeaking hold you back. We are all human and no one is perfect. This quote really resonated with me, “Empathy: Let me hold the door for you. I may have never walked in your shoes, but I can see your soles are worn, your strength is torn under the weight of a story I have never lived before. Let me hold the door for you. After all you’ve walked through, It’s the least I can do.” -MHN

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14 Comments

  • Yalana Allen says:

    Thank you, thank you, thank you for this post!!!! I was nearly in tears as I read it. As a black woman, I’m so grateful to God that people outside of our race get it and empathize with us but also want change. Please keep doing what you’re doing!

    June 1, 2020 | Reply
    • kat@withlovefromkat.com replied:

      My eyes have been opened and I am not going to ignore these issues. I hope you are staying safe <3 Thank you for your sweet comment!

      June 1, 2020 | Reply
  • Vera says:

    I loved this post. I, too, am deeply saddened, horrified and appalled of what’s going on in the USA. What has been going on for so long. I live half across the World and it would be so easy for me to close my eyes (I’m white, my whole family is white and I literally know 2 black people here since that’s how few of them live here), but I’m choosing not to. As a mother, I can’t even grasp the terror POC mothers have to feel for their kids when they leave from home and go to the store or for a jog and need to be afraid for their lives. And not just because of the violence all people might face, but also all the racism that might cause someone to think that you’re a bulgar or a cop to think that you are a threat even though you haven’t acted or reacted any differently than the average joe.

    I’m so saddened, because I can’t see an instant solution. There’s so much going on that’s causing it and so many people who are choosing to not see the problem. But what I know for a fact, that as long as US has a President, who is not seeing the problem, there is no way the problem can be solved. Sure it is important to make small changes and spread awareness and that is all a single person can do, but I’m not seeing improvement on a larger scale unless there will be some changes at the top too. Hoping it will happen soon.

    Thank you for this post, it gave me a lot of inspiration to strengthen my role as an ally. I have always wanted to raise my children as allies to everyone (POC, women, LGBTQ etc) and this intensified my desire to do so.

    June 1, 2020 | Reply
    • kat@withlovefromkat.com replied:

      Thank you for sharing your perspective with me Vera. And thank you for wanting to be an ally and raising your children to be allies! I agree, it is frustrating and devastating knowing that change won’t happen overnight. But the small changes we make in our homes and communities is the first step, and it will not go unnoticed. It will continue to have positive ripple effects far beyond what we can see. Stay safe and healthy <3

      June 1, 2020 | Reply
  • Stefanie Francois says:

    Kat, thank you for this. We go way back. The other day you texted to check on me wanting to know how I was doing and dealing which led me to a river of tears. I always give so much of myself and I didn’t realize how much I needed to hear from someone, anyone whom I give my all to. These were tears that were bottled up that led me to finally take a deep breath which I hadn’t done in days. I needed to shed those tears. I Thank You and Love You my Sag Sister. I can’t wait to see you again. You are an angel. I respect and appreciate you for being an ally and a part of the solution by using your platform for good. I hope more will follow suit.
    With Love & Gratitude,
    Stefanie xo

    June 2, 2020 | Reply
    • kat@withlovefromkat.com replied:

      Stefanie – I love you <3 I hate seeing you in pain. You are so vibrant and such a bright light. I can't wait until we can reunite soon. Always hear for you my fellow SAG ;)

      June 2, 2020 | Reply
  • Rochelle says:

    Thank you for using your voice! My community are hurting but seeing posts like this really give hope that society can change. We have a long way to go but taking every opportunity to be vocal is a step in the right direction. Once again, thank you!

    Chelle: http://www.chellebelle2016.blogspot.com

    June 2, 2020 | Reply
    • kat@withlovefromkat.com replied:

      Thank you for reading this post and sharing that with me. Yes we do have a long way to go <3 Stay safe and healthy!

      June 2, 2020 | Reply
  • Kathy Boykin says:

    I’ve never written to a blogger before. While I appreciate your sentiment, as well as all non-black people who’ve witnessed the horror of murder before our very eyes, I still want to say thank you very much. That quote brought tears to my eyes. I am not a cryer. I just want to say that our hurt is generations deep and you must examine how far you are willing to go for this. Times are quickly changing. One Love.

    June 2, 2020 | Reply
    • kat@withlovefromkat.com replied:

      Thank you for your comment Kathy. Yes we have a very long way to go. It’s one step at a time – stay safe and healthy <3

      June 3, 2020 | Reply
  • Jannah Garfio says:

    Thank you for making this post a part of your permanent platform. I look forward to seeing how the knowledge you grow impacts the decisions you make about future brands to partner with, items you link, campaigns, and how you use your platform to amplify issues and voices.

    June 3, 2020 | Reply
  • Gina Checchia says:

    Thank you for the beautiful words and resources. You explained this so well and in such an understanding way. Keep sharing and helping the movement! I hope we see change soon.

    XoXo,
    Gina Checchia
    https://www.a-girl-in-la.com/

    June 7, 2020 | Reply
    • kat@withlovefromkat.com replied:

      Thank you for your kind comment Gina <3

      June 8, 2020 | Reply
  • Currently Coveting Under $100 - With Love From Kat says:

    […] Hello hello! Sorry for the lack of posts this week. There’s been a lot going on behind the scenes and my mind has just been a bit frazzled these past few days. This is such a surreal time in our world and I know I’m not the only one who feels a deep sense of heaviness in the air… Helena put it so well – we are all just trying to figure it out right now. Even though I’m posting content as normal, trust me, I’m not stopping my work on learning how to be an ally. […]

    June 18, 2020 | Reply