Advice

10 Things That Bring Me Joy

It’s almost been 1 year since the pandemic began. It’s hard to believe isn’t it? In 1 year all of our lives have drastically changed. Each and every one of us have had to adapt to this “new normal.” This “new normal” looks different for everyone…but I think we can all agree it’s been a BIG transition. The transition has been easier for some, and harder for others. Little things like grabbing a casual drink with a friend at a bar on a whim are no longer possible. While the pandemic has certainly taken a lot of freedom and spontaneity out of our lives, it hasn’t taken all of the joy. I personally needed to remind myself of this the other day after hitting a bit of a “pandemic wall.” I wanted to share something I did to remind myself of the small, day to day things that bring me joy. 10 Things That Bring Me Joy It’s funny how the simplest, sometimes even silly, things bring us the most joy. While it’s great to splurge on something new or reach a big career milestone, it’s the small things throughout the week that really sustain our happiness. This past week I wrote down 10 totally random things that were bringing me joy. To see them on paper, really made them that much more meaningful and special. I encourage you to write down 10 things that bring you joy. And without judgement. It could be the smallest, silliest thing that no one else will understand but you. You may be surprised what your list is comprised of. It’s a good way to remind yourself what actually makes you happy – and reprioritize finding the time to do things like that throughout the week. When everyday starts feeling like Groundhogs day, pull out your list, and check in with yourself. Make sure you’re making time to do these small, little things that bring you joy. Because after all, that’s the whole point of life – to enjoy it. Hermes teacup (similar, similar)
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Benefits of Taking CBD

Benefits of Taking CBDCBD has gained immense popularity in the past few years, and for good reason.  I first learned about CBD when I was living in LA.  Practically everyone I knew was touting the benefits!  So what is CBD?  CBD is a natural ingredient found within industrial hemp flowers. It is clinically proven to impact mental and physical well-being, when taken properly and consistently. It is a powerful health agent, but there is no discernible impairment (no high!)  Over the years, I tested and tried a few CBD products, but nothing ever wow’d me until I tried Equilibria products. Equilibria CBDQualityWhat impressed me the most about Equilibria is their ingredient transparency.  I love that they share a Certificate of Analysis for every single one of their products!  One of the things I learned about CBD early on, was that you should really pay attention to where it came from and it should always be organic.  Equilibria’s products are organic, and free of metals, solvents, and VOCs (volatile organic compounds).  Their products typically feature 3-4x the cannabinoids and terpenes found in other mainstream, over-the-counter CBD products. Favorite ProductsI’ve tried all of the Equilibria products and my favorites are the Daily Softgels, the Daily Treatment Oil, and the Relief Cream.  I love the Daily Softgels because they don’t upset my stomach (I have a very sensitive stomach to any sort of vitamins, supplements or pills) and they make me more relaxed.  I found that taking 1 pill after lunch everyday around the same time has really helped my anxiety levels in a very subtle way.  You won’t feel a sudden, crazy drastic change with these, but after about a week I could really feel a difference – I was just calmer. Probably my favorite benefit though, is that it really helps alleviate my period pain.  I get the worst cramps and am usually knocked out for the first 2 days.  The gels combined with the Relief Cream during my period has become such a nice self care ritual.  The Daily Treatment Oil is a gorgeous face oil that doesn’t break me out, and makes my skin feel bright and hydrated.  I like to use it alone or with my gua sha when I need a little boost or before a shoot. Dosage SpecialistEveryone’s body chemistry is different.  What works for me, may not work for you.  You may need more or less of the combination of CBD products that I take to feel the full effects.  This is why the dosage specialists are so amazing.  You get a free phone consultation with every purchase and unlimited email support.  Their site also has an extensive FAQ that really breaks down everything you need to know about CBD.  I highly recommend chatting with their specialist before you start taking the CBD, or a week or two after to really understand how your body is taking to it!  I’d love to know what your experience has been with CBD, and if you have any questions please feel free to leave them below and I will forward them to their team. Sale!Starting today 2/17 until 2/20 buy any Equilibria product and get the second one (of lesser value) for 50% off! This promo can also be combined with your 15% off code KATTANITA that always works!  I would personally start with the Brilliance box and then treat yourself to the Body box which has the relief cream, mineral soak, and face oil!
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Breaking Up With Friends

I’ve been secretly struggling with something during the pandemic…I’ve been going through a friend breakup. If you’ve ever lost a friendship over the years you know how painful it can be. It can happen for big or small reasons, to short or long term relationships. But when it does happen, it almost feels like a death. It can actually be harder than a romantic breakup because in our society no one ever talks about friend breakups and it feels weird to say you’re even sad about it! There aren’t really movies about friend breakups, a ton of articles on “how to get over your ex friend”, or mainstream coping tactics like bingeing ice cream or going out on the town with the girls to get over it. Breaking Up With Friends Have You Ever Had a Friendship Breakup? When my friend Helena shared the article, “Have You Ever Had a Friendship Breakup?” from A Cup of Jo, I felt a huge sense of relief. Finally someone was talking about what I had been privately grieving all year. The article is beautifully written and talks about both sides to a friend breakup…from being ghosted, to doing the actual ghosting, and just even having a falling out – it’s shitty either way. I’ve been on both ends, and it can be incredibly painful and confusing. At least with a romantic breakup, you pretty much know what you both did wrong. You have a big argument or you just realize you’re not compatible, you talk about it, and then you part ways. There’s more closure you know? But for some reason, with a friend breakup there never really is. It’s not like you say to your friend after years of friendship, “I think you’re selfish and resentful, but let’s try and work it out and still be friends…” No, lol. Obviously that’s an exaggerated example of something you’d actually say. But what I mean is, it’s very uncommon for women to confront other women about what’s bothering them. And when they do, in my experience, it has resulted in the end of the friendship. In a romantic relationship, there’s a different element where people are willing to change, take advice/feedback, morph…but in a friendship, that element isn’t really there. It’s more black and white if that makes sense? Personal Experience I felt like I needed to give a little more personal background on the friend break up scenario I’ve been going through. I know that when people have shared their own stories about this, it’s really helped me cope, so here goes… The one I’ve been grieving and trying to process this past year was one of my oldest friends. We had known each other for 20+ years. We had lost touch a bit over those years because we went to different schools and lived across the country from one another. But we always managed to check in periodically. We grew closer later in life when she got engaged because she wanted me to be a part of all of the wedding excitement and events. It was wonderful to spend so much time together during that year. But after that, we went back to our normal periodic check ins. As time went on, she became extremely unhappy at her job and always seemed down when I’d ask about it. I would try to share something positive or exciting about my own job. But she could never listen to it and would make an excuse to get off the phone or change the subject right away. Over time, her resentment toward me became unbearable and extremely hurtful. I tried to brush it off. But ultimately, we got to a place where we just had nothing in common anymore. And our calls or get togethers felt like obligations. We never laughed or had fun together…we were just stuck in the past, talking about people we knew 20 years ago. The last straw for me was when I confided in her about something really upsetting that happened. She was one of the only people I told because she had known me the longest/and knew the context of the situation. After I poured my heart out to her, I thought I’d hear from her about it, via a supportive call or a text, or just a “How are you holding up?” but nothing came and weeks went by with no contact. I was devastated and embarassed that I had opened up to her. After that, I finally saw the writing on the wall. We were holding on to the past, but nothing else was holding us together. I never felt good after talking or hanging out with her. And if I could never share good news about my job or lean on her during hard times, what was the point of this so-called friendship? Months later, I did confront her about my hurt feelings after she asked where I had been. Unfortunately she got extremely defensive and tried to deflect. I had zero energy or desire left in me to salvage something that wasn’t working in the first place, so I let it be. Today, I feel a huge sense of relief without her in my life. I no longer have to live in the past and I no longer have to hide my happiness or joy to make her feel better. The best part is, that all of the energy and time I spent on that relationship has been put into so many other people and areas of my life that have blossomed during this time. Although I feel relief and have strengthened relationships around me, just the loss of someone who has been in your life (whether they were super supportive or not) is hard to wrap your head around. It’s still a shock to the system when anything like this happens. And it takes time to fully move on from. Lack of Closure I think the overall lack of closure that comes at the end of a friendship is what’s so hard. If you’re the one being ghosted, you’re usually clueless as to what you did wrong, and become hurt, confused, embarassed and/or upset. If you’re doing the ghosting you can feel guilty and ashamed for leaving them in the dark, but may not know what to say, and no longer have a desire to continue the friendship – even if the person changes. Even if there’s no ghosting involved, but there’s confrontation or an argument, it can often feel like there was so much left unsaid with a friend breakup. A few of you were DM’ing me asking how to approach these tricky scenarios. And to be quite honest, I’m really not sure. Every case is SO different and complex. Which is why, in the past, I liked to talk about them with my therapist before making a hasty decision I may regret. What ultimately has helped me is… My Advice The best advice I can give you is this. Life is SO short and you need to focus on what makes YOU happy. If a friend no longer makes you happy, and repeatedly drains you, brings you down, puts you down, shows jealousy, resentment, or anything that makes you feel BAD, then it’s probably time to say goodbye. You don’t have to say goodbye forever though! Many friendships can grow, evolve and change. Be open to that and know that is perfectly normal. I’ve had friends who I’ve naturally drifted a part from for no reason other than we lived far away. And then we came back together years later like no time had passed. I’ve also had friends who I just couldn’t relate to anymore so we lost touch. But years later found ourselves in similar situations and reconnected. I’ve also had friends who had been continually toxic for years and years. And who I knew deep down would never change. I made a pact with myself that I’d never let them or their bad energy in my life again. Sometimes people come into your life for a reason, but they’re not meant to be there forever. Cherish the good times you had, and let anything negative fall away. Every single situation and friendship will be different. But whatever your circumstances are, remember to trust your gut instinct. If you don’t know how to tap into that instinct, ask yourself, “Does this friend make me feel good about myself when I’m with them or talking to them? Can I be my 100% genuine self with them?” The answer to those questions will be very telling. It’s OK Just know that it’s OK to outgrow a friend. It’s OK to put yourself first. It’s OK to pull away from someone that makes you feel bad about yourself. And it’s normal to feel guilty or ashamed around a friendship breakup because it’s HARD! It’s uncomfortable, sad, painful – regardless of which side you’re on. Do all the self care things to process and move on from it. Go to therapy if you think it will help you. Open up to your other girlfriends about it (they may be struggling and embarassed to say they are too!) And most importantly, give yourself time and space to heal. I’ll end with this quote (source unknown); “The people who are meant to be in your life will always gravitate back towards you, no matter how far they wander.” If a friend is meant to be in your life they will, if not, let them go.
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Dealing With Uncertainty

2020 has brought a hell of a lot of uncertainty into our world. People everywhere are suffering to some extent, whether it be mentally, emotionally, physically, environmentally, financially… We are all living through a global pandemic and one of the most intense presidential races in history. Stress levels are HIGH and we have all been pushed in ways we never imagined or expected. Uncertainty is scary. Right now, we don’t know what lies ahead in regards to the pandemic, the election, the economy, and the environment. As humans, we crave certainty. We want answers, we want routine, and we want safety. This is only natural and normal. Some of us are more go with the flow and can ride the wave of uncertainty better than others, but at the end of the day, uncertainty is unnerving for everyone. I wanted to share how I’ve personally been dealing with the uncertainty of our country, our world, and my own life (which btw I’m by no means doing perfectly…) – in case you’ve been struggling to process all.of.the craziness! Dealing With Uncertainty Meditation I’ve been doing this meditation every morning for the past 4 years. You can read more it here. It makes me a calmer, happier, more focused person. You can use code KAT to get 40% off the online course! Lemon Water Having hot water with lemon every morning really soothes my digestion system and body when I wake up. It’s a simple ritual, but one I never miss. The lemon alkalizes my body (aka it basically helps keep any inflammation at bay.) Inflammation is toxic and comes from stress, certain food we eat, the environment, etc. so it’s crucial to constantly be doing things that reverse it. I know many people simply squeeze the lemon juice into their water and toss the lemon itself, but you actually want to put the lemon slice with the peel into the water since the peel has a ton of amazing nutrients. Volunteer If you’re feeling stuck, get outside your own head and find a local charity in your community to get involved with. All I had to do to find one in my area was google the town + charity – and hundreds popped up. I also asked many of you on stories which local charities you recommended, and got great suggestions which helped me narrow it down to the one I am currently involved with. If you don’t feel comfortable volunteering in person, then you can volunteer by dropping off canned goods, winter coats, or school supplies. There are so many people in need right now – literally charities are overwhelmed with requests. Now is the time to give back in your hometown. Think globally, act locally. Scheduled Weekly Workout I have a scheduled workout in my calendar once a week that I never miss. Having it set up consistently, really sets the tone for my week. Exceptions are when it falls on a vacation (I am just not one of those people who works out on vacation) or when it falls on my period (I follow Alisa Vitti’s Flo Living cycle syncing advice – it’s a game changer.) Hart of Dixie + Lighthearted Media Hart of Dixie may be the cheesiest show ever lol! I actually tried watching it yearsssss ago, and couldn’t because I thought it was so bad. BUT I gave it another try a few months ago, and am so glad I did (it definitely gets better toward the end of Season 1.) The world needs more cheesiness, fun, laughter, romance, positivity, you know? This show provides a brief, happy escape – highly recommend. Other lighthearted shows I love to watch can be found here…Schitt’s Creek is a GREAT one if you haven’t already watched it. Puppy Love If you don’t have a dog, and can have one, I highly recommend rescuing one! What better time than now to rescue a sweet animal in need?! I rescued my sweet Charlie 3 years ago from Vanderpump Dogs in LA, and it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Dogs bring SO MUCH JOY to life. Therapy Your insurance plan may cover a certain amount of therapy sessions per year for free! Or you may even just have to pay a $15 copay so it never hurts to call and ask. If not, there are a ton of wonderful resources – I wrote a post about how to find a therapist here. I personally really appreciate having someone neutral to speak to a few times a month about whatever is going on in my life. A trained professional that you trust, can often have incredible insight, wisdom and advice. Edit This year has really made me think about who and what I want to spend my time and energy on. I’ve really edited the content I consume, the people I talk to, the businesses I support. Edit out the negative, uninspiring or anything that doesn’t sit well with you! Don’t feel bad about doing so either – this is your life after all. Get Inspired Order any one of Brene Brown’s books – she’s the best. Pick up a biography of someone you’ve always admired or been interested in. If you’re stuck, here’s a list of books I love. Own It If you’re feeling lonely; own it. If you’re feeling jealous; own it. If you’re feeling depressed; own it. Don’t try to fight or hide your feelings. The best thing you can do, is admit and acknowledge whatever is going on, no matter how much you may not want to look at it. You can’t fix a problem or move past it until you OWN and acknowledge it. Write it down, tell a close friend or family member, share these feelings with your significant other, or therapist. Get it off your chest, I promise you will feel so much better rather than constantly trying to distract or stifle whatever it is that you’re feeling. Those feelings won’t go away unless you face them head on, you know? Again, I am by nooooo means an A+ passenger in this global pandemic, political, quarantine fiasco we are going through at the moment, but these are just a few things that have massively helped me stay sane with all of the uncertainty surrounding us. Anything helping you during these challenging times? Would love to know <3
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