Derek and I attended a beautiful, Hollywood black tie wedding at the Beverly Hills hotel over the weekend. My former assistant married the most wonderful guy and looked like an absolute princess! It was so special to attend a wedding with Derek…I must admit I couldn’t help fantasize about my own someday! A few of you have been asking about how Derek and I met so I thought I’d share our story here…
About 9 months ago I had “given up” on dating. I dated quite a bit over the years since my last relationship ended. I was dating just to date…I was dating to try and get over my ex, appease friends and family who were constantly asking me if I was dating, and fill the void/loneliness I felt from being single. I had never really learned how to enjoy alone time as an adult and got so used to being in a relationship for 8 years of my life.
Finally, after a string of terrible dates and a ton of weirdos…I decided to take a step back and just SIT WITH MY LONELINESS. This was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I stopped filling the void and pain I felt with distractions like big group dinners, parties, clubs, events, etc. because they were all just acting like a bandaid! The first few weeks of cutting back on my social life was pretty brutal – not gonna lie. I felt the sadness creep back in, I felt depressed, doubted if I was doing the right thing and just felt really confused/out of sorts as a result of breaking up my old coping patterns. But, nonetheless I told myself to stick with this bumpy, uncomfortable period and committed to staying home, journaling, reading, watching silly movies, and going for long walks on the beach. I bought a dog – my sweet Charlie who changed my life forever and taught me how to love again! – and created a little routine for myself. In the mornings, Charlie and I would wake up, go for walks on the beach, and grab a matcha at Butchers Daughter before heading home.
This period of having a routine to look forward to, practicing self care and staying in every weekend lasted about 3-4 months and I was able to find my groove again. I learned what self care was all about and I stopped thinking about dating all together. I started to enjoy being single – it meant I had more time for all those single girlie things I love doing like eating take out in bed, putting on black clay face masks at night, and watching cheesy rom coms/Bravo!
One week, while I was out and about walking Charlie, I happened to pass this tall, dark handsome man – Derek – 6 times! On the 6th time of passing him, I saw him stop at his mailbox which happens to be 2 doors down from mine (I now know he purposely stopped ;)), and just said, “Hi I’m Kat – I’m your neighbor!” He introduced himself, we made a bit of small talk – and it turned out we had both moved from big cities (he moved from San Francisco and I moved from NYC) to Venice the exact same month! He asked for my number and suggested we grab a coffee and the rest is history! We rode off into the sunset and everything was peaches and rainbows!!! LOL KIDDING!
All relationships have their ups and downs and take work – but I am truly grateful that the universe brought Derek and I together – I really do believe it was fate! I used to roll my eyes at the sayings “You’ll meet someone when you least expect it” “The second you stop looking for someone you’ll find them” and “You have to fall in love with yourself first before you can love anyone else” but as cheesy as they may sound – they could not be more true.